Voices In My Head

The-Simpsons-s11e22-Behind-the-Laughter[1]

 

Voices in my head go away
Come again to play some other day.
Better yet, don’t bother coming back at all.

Writing your soul book is an elephantine and daunting enough project as it is. I don’t need these negative voices from my past adding to the immensity of what I’m trying to accomplish. Yet there they are; ready without notice to lend an unhelping hand.

“Are you sure you’re a good enough writer to be doing this?”
“You know, you’ve never been a very good speller.”
“I just caught a typo. Aren’t you proofreading your work?”
“Maybe you should let someone who knows what they’re doing take over.”

It’s funny. They’re not present while I’m painting. (Shush! I don’t think the voices know that I paint, so I think I should keep that one under my hat.) They certainly know I bang on the piano. They’ve been there since I was a child and have kept me from advancing beyond the banging stage.

As long as I’m complaining there’s a commercial out there that breaks my heart every time I see it.

A family is gathered around a kitchen counter discussing who deserves the last whatever the product is that shall remain anonymous. The daughter says she deserves it because she practiced her musical instrument. The mother says she deserves it because she had to listen to her daughter practice her musical instrument.

Is it really painful to listen to your daughter or loved one learn to creatively express what’s in their heart? Isn’t this how those negative voices get started in the first place? Somebody thinking they’re being funny or cute at your expense?

The other day at my creative pow-wow with my soul sisters the subject of negative voices came up. Jasmine had them so bad she was actually thinking about going into another line of work to escape them. Jasmine is an incredibly talented woman and what a tragedy it would be if she gave up on her life’s purpose.

It then occurred to me that if it would be a tragedy for her to give up on her creative, soul purpose wouldn’t that logic also apply to me? That felt really good to say that. Therefore, it must be true. I am worthy of fulfilling my creative destiny.

Damn the torpedoes. Men (and women) man your weapons. We’ve got enemy voices trying to board ship. As long as I’m captain there will be no more free rides for lying scallywags, critical windbags or pirates of any kind. All scoundrels, creative sucking leeches and swindlers of self-confidence are hereby ordered to walk the plank. And if the sharks don’t get ya you can dine on each other’s regurgitated cynicism.

In other words, you are going to have to eat your lunch all by yourself because I’m not going to entertain you the next time you come knockin’ while I’m trying to write. I’m perfectly aware that you’re still going to try to test the water but trust me it’s not safe to enter. I’m now armed with the truth. And the truth will set me free.

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14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. P.E.A.C.E.
    Mar 11, 2014 @ 10:21:06

    WOW! Lorlinda, I cherish every single word you write, every word! I adore your humor and ‘realness’ if I can create a new word here. And how your wisdom resonates! Damn the torpedoes indeed! As we care for others’ and the pursuit of their dreams, let’s cheer on ourselves as well! And I love this comment stream, with lovely Jamie’s sharing about those mean reptiles (no one gave them crayons!). Sorry reptiles… you are SO outta here! We have abundant creating and writing to do! Bless your heart Lorlinda. Thanks for cheering YOU on and for role-modeling for us all how it’s done. You Go SS! Hugs, Gina xo

    Reply

    • lorlinda
      Mar 11, 2014 @ 11:02:25

      Wow is right Gina. How do I reply to such a tender, warm comment? You overwhelm me with sister love. I thank God for finding you and all the wonderful people I’ve met through your blog. Your clarity blows me out of the water. Yes, let’s cheer on ourselves as we cheer on others. Damn the torpedoes – full steam ahead!
      BTW – I make up words all the time. Here are a few of my favorites: trash-o-lie; groovyness, and synchro-clarity (I believe synchronicity and psychic events are forms of clarity). Hugs and love back ya soul sis, Lorlinda

      Reply

      • P.E.A.C.E.
        Mar 11, 2014 @ 11:07:19

        How I adore the laughter I enjoy during our online visits my SS! Love your words. I say ‘much grooviness’ quite a bit, as well as other playful terms. Kindred spirits we are, because we know we can be wise and learning even better while being playful, light, and occasionally goofy (in my humble opinion 😉 )

        Reply

        • lorlinda
          Mar 11, 2014 @ 11:35:19

          Wow, another person who uses the word, “grooviness.” You even spell it better than I do. (LOL) Yes, we must be kindred spirits indeed, and I like that. Loving playfulness is a wonderful way to start our day! I’m off to do some errands. Thank you for sending me off with a smile on my face. The people I encounter will certainly appreciate that. 🙂

          Reply

  2. winkyspider
    Mar 10, 2014 @ 23:15:18

    How I hate these voices! They take part in the “infanticide” of our creativity even before it blooms. I loved your post and I am glad you have decided to ignore them!

    Reply

    • lorlinda
      Mar 11, 2014 @ 10:17:03

      Hello to my friend on the other side of the planet from me. You’re right. These voices can be very dangerous. That’s why we need to take precautions so that they don’t kill our creative children. Learning how to deal with them while you’re young can save you from a lot of creative regret. It’s good to hear from you. Thank you for swinging by. I’m sending you cyber hugs. Lorlinda

      Reply

  3. Sandra Finnin
    Mar 10, 2014 @ 20:26:36

    Love it! So true. There is a saying that “your thinking stinks, so think it over and discuss with trusted friend before talking or taking action”.

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    Reply

    • lorlinda
      Mar 10, 2014 @ 20:54:07

      Great Advice Sandy. I feel as though by writing this post I have done just that, and now I’m receiving wonderful pearls of wisdom in response. Thank you for adding your pearl. Love Lorlinda

      Reply

  4. j9cooperayres
    Mar 10, 2014 @ 20:22:56

    Hi Lorli! I am so happy to be following your blog! I love it and I’m proud of you for doing it! (Not to mention, I’m inspired!) And I have something to say about those voices – I’ve certainly had my challenges with them. Instead of trying to silence them, perhaps we can transform them. From Reptiles to butterflies! From ugly and critical to gentle and loving! What do you think? I’m going to give it a go. Love you lots! j

    Reply

    • lorlinda
      Mar 10, 2014 @ 20:40:01

      I like that J9 (aka Jasmine). And I don’t think that will be too hard based on the support and cheerleading I’ve been getting since I posted this entry. From now on, no more ugly reptiles or critical, scaredy cats. Let’s hear only the gentle wings of a butterfly fresh with life after being released from an old cocoon. Love YOU Lots, Lorlinda

      Reply

  5. Christina Cooper
    Mar 10, 2014 @ 19:01:10

    Well if this is an example of your writing it is really clear and interesting and based on truth. I have those voices. You have the drive because you have no choice but to do it WRITE! Every successful person has been put down because they either needed to practice more or someone was jealous of them but all eventual successes met with rejection. Part of the journey to get rid of those who really do not want it bad enough. The old adage of the reason someone does not succeed at something they desire is because they quit trying too soon. Have to make it through the pain I guess.
    As far as spelling is concerned we have dictionaries for that so trek on because you really have no other choice. The worst voices are those that speak of regret ” if only I followed through on….

    Reply

    • lorlinda
      Mar 10, 2014 @ 20:04:34

      Thank you so much Christina for reading my blog and posting a comment. As an accomplished artist you know what you’re talking about. I’m honored that you stopped by. You are my art/life teacher, my mentor and my friend. Love Lorlinda
      Christina’s work can be viewed at http://cmcooperfineart.com

      Reply

  6. jamieweilhealthcoach
    Mar 10, 2014 @ 18:40:57

    You can tell the voices that I say you’re an amazing painter (nice poppy on Gina’s page!) and phenomenal writer. Carolyn Myss calls them “reptiles,” these voices. They’re just a bunch of scaredy cats. They always show up for the creative process because nobody gave them a box of crayons when they were little…at least, that’s my theory. Go, Lorlinda, go!

    Reply

    • lorlinda
      Mar 10, 2014 @ 19:51:01

      Thank you Jamie. How can I go wrong with amazing friends like you. I think you have killed those reptiles/scaredy cats with your kindness. 🙂 If they still have the nerve to show their voices I will hand them a box of crayons and send them on their way. (LOL) I’m sending you tons of creative energy. Hugs, Lorlinda
      P.S. Thank you for noticing my painting on Gina’s inspiring blog.

      Reply

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