Voices In My Head

 

Voices in my head go away
Come again to play some other day.
Better yet, don’t bother coming back at all.

Writing your soul book is an elephantine and daunting enough project as it is. I don’t need these negative voices from my past adding to the immensity of what I’m trying to accomplish. Yet there they are; ready without notice to lend an unhelping hand.

“Are you sure you’re a good enough writer to be doing this?”
“You know, you’ve never been a very good speller.”
“I just caught a typo. Aren’t you proofreading your work?”
“Maybe you should let someone who knows what they’re doing take over.”

It’s funny. They’re not present while I’m painting. (Shush! I don’t think the voices know that I paint, so I think I should keep that one under my hat.) They certainly know I bang on the piano. They’ve been there since I was a child and have kept me from advancing beyond the banging stage.

As long as I’m complaining there’s a commercial out there that breaks my heart every time I see it.

A family is gathered around a kitchen counter discussing who deserves the last whatever the product is that shall remain anonymous. The daughter says she deserves it because she practiced her musical instrument. The mother says she deserves it because she had to listen to her daughter practice her musical instrument.

Is it really painful to listen to your daughter or loved one learn to creatively express what’s in their heart? Isn’t this how those negative voices get started in the first place? Somebody thinking they’re being funny or cute at your expense?

The other day at my creative pow-wow with my soul sisters the subject of negative voices came up. Jasmine had them so bad she was actually thinking about going into another line of work to escape them. Jasmine is an incredibly talented woman and what a tragedy it would be if she gave up on her life’s purpose.

It then occurred to me that if it would be a tragedy for her to give up on her creative, soul purpose wouldn’t that logic also apply to me? That felt really good to say that. Therefore, it must be true. I am worthy of fulfilling my creative destiny.

Damn the torpedoes. Men (and women) man your weapons. We’ve got enemy voices trying to board ship. As long as I’m captain there will be no more free rides for lying scallywags, critical windbags or pirates of any kind. All scoundrels, creative sucking leeches and swindlers of self-confidence are hereby ordered to walk the plank. And if the sharks don’t get ya you can dine on each other’s regurgitated cynicism.

In other words, you are going to have to eat your lunch all by yourself because I’m not going to entertain you the next time you come knockin’ while I’m trying to write. I’m perfectly aware that you’re still going to try to test the water but trust me it’s not safe to enter. I’m now armed with the truth. And the truth will set me free.